I have this shirt, and it fits—no thanks to the store where I bought it which doesn’t have dressing rooms anymore to try things on first before you buy. I was able to try it on over the shirt I was wearing, so I had a pretty good idea it would be okay. But what if I wanted to buy some jeans? That wouldn’t have worked.

Life is like buying clothes. You know yourself and you try to find situations where you fit. Dating is trying to find someone with whom you fit. It doesn’t always work, but often it does. My wife and I are a testament to that – having now been married for over 2 decades.

Job hunting is also a hunt for the right fit. As someone wisely stated, when you are interviewing for a job they are assessing you, but you should also be assessing them. Is this a place where you want to work, or are you just settling?

The weird thing about fit is that in relationships, in jobs, in other endeavors we tend to make the mistake of thinking that if we don’t find the right fit it is our fault. If there is a controversy it is all our fault. Or we blame the other person or company, etc, for not fitting with us. We don’t stop to think that maybe it is just a matter of a bad fit.

We often beat our heads against a wall trying to fit in, to make it work. I had that one time when I did a brief stretch with a fundraising call outfit. It was for a good cause -—Special Olympics —but it did not work for me. We did phone calls raising money, 5 hrs a night and by the end of a couple of weeks, I quit. I told the manager that it wasn’t for me. I tried to do my best, but phoning people has never been my idea of fun, and every night I would go home with the most raging headaches I have ever had.

There are occasions where you just have to make it work. The crew of Apollo 13 had to do a lot of unconventional things to survive and the CO2 issue forced them to make a square peg go into a round hole. But normally we aren’t in such a life and death situation and we need to think differently.

When things don’t fit, stop. There is a time to realize when the fit is wrong. When you try on a piece of clothing and it doesn’t fit do you blame yourself? Do you blame the clothing item? No, you put it back on the rack and look for another one.

So, instead of trying to make a fit, search out and find the fit. Search your heart and mind and imagine the fit. Then when you find the right fit you will know it and it will make up for all the head-banging. Like the phrase – “it fits him like a glove’